Wednesday, 31 October 2012


by 15 i had seen
more than most
the average teen
stolen cars
carried knives
burglaries that ruined lives
had a gun held to my head
even saw my mother dead
weed an speed an other drugs
so much drink an people mugged
carried tools on street
so much anger not much sleep
till the day i met a girl
who saved me from
that dreadful world
took me home let me stay
made me who i am today
now were married settled down
gorgous kids that make me proud
i vow to keep them safe from harm
an let them lead a life thats calm


white an black, asian an chinese
the world is full of all these
but growing up was taught to hate
an only trust the white mans race
on the streets we would fight
anyone that was not white
now im older i can see
the lies that were infecting me
that distanced me from the truth
giving me these racial views
teaching me how to hate
but ignorance is out of date
so we must learn to get along
cause judging by our skin is wrong
cause we all drink and need to feed
an if you cut us we all bleed
so how we different from the rest
this racist world is such a mess


in the dock
facing trial
a boy who's crime
was seen as vile

yet at the time
he done whats right
protecting the one
who spawned his life

watched his mom
get beaten bad
abused an tortured
by his dad

decided he would
end it all
and make his dad
look the fool

so waited till
he went to bed
then beat him hard
across the head

didnt stop
till he gave up
breathing ceased
eyes bruised shut

now this boy
who tried to help
faces life
inside a cell

and all because
he saved his mom
of a man
she feared from


13 years of pain have passed,
Each memory stronger than the last,
The times i used to say goodnight,
You'd kiss my cheek left not right,
You'd come and tuck me into bed and say i love you as you kiss my head,
You'd help me up if i would fall and tell my gramps if i was bad at school,
And now your gone not here to hug or give me kisses full of love,
Or tuck me in when i goto bed and say i love you as you kiss my head,
But everyday i need to smile cause you was here for that little while,
And every moment we spent together will stay in heart and last forever,
An even though as i write,
My tears will run and my eyes clench tight,
I will always remember the times we shared,
I love you mom you were my friend xxx


Its night so i will watch and wait
11:15 her entrys late
I wonder why I wonder how
Surely she'd be back by now
I try to call but no-ones there
Im worried now im in despair
I cant imagine what could be
My minds a mess its stressing me
I try to calm and take a breathe
But breathing more is helping less
I feel the sweat beneath my shirt
Anxietys coming is she hurt
I hope an pray just for a call
Or hear her footsteps in the hall
Or hear her key turn in the lock
Or hear the softness of her knock
I look I wait I stand I sit
Its midnight soon
Isnt it
Now i realise what ive done
The clocks went back
Dont i feel dumb


For April Jones from all that care
Please bring her back it isnt fair

Shes only 5 shes all alone
Shes feeling scared away from home

This tiny girl this little thing
To young to know whats happening

Her familys lives are upside down
Please bring her back please bring her now

Shes only young done nothing wrong
So bring her back where she belongs

I pray to god thats shes alright
His angels by her side at night

Watching her to keep her safe
Till she returns to her rightful place


hit the road
home late from work
tired eyes try to observe

music loud
bass is deep
trying not to fall asleep

head keeps dipping
windows down
still 20 mile till i reach town

trying hard to concertrate
watch the road
an stay awake

an yet my brain keeps giving in
im trying hard
its tiring

now swaying left an swaying right
my brains asleep
my eyes clenched tight

suddenly i hit the rubble
im of the road
now im im trouble

i wake before i hit a fence
brake an swerve
no consequence

from that day on
i will reframe
from ever driving tired again


this helpless child left alone
no one to care no one at home

this helpless child left to cry
no one there to ask him why

this helpless child left to fend
for himself without a friend

this helpless child left to sit
in a cold an poorly lit

room where hes been left to freeze
torn up clothes an grazed up knees

in this room this dirty place
with tears streaming down his face

then suddenly this room is lit
hes screaming stop as hes hit

this little boy indures this pain
his little heart starts to strain

an suddenly his life line dims
on this boy who never sinned

but now in heaven he is safe
away from all the harm he faced


6am up an dressed
water running
kettle prepped

check the drainer
cup is clean
kettle blows
lots of steam

teabag in
water poured
get the milk
from where its stored

no need for sugar
just let it stew
then add the milk
for a lovely brew


from taking peds to bigger crimes
the ones that had me holding knives

these types of crimes i would commit
the drugs i took were fueling it

sneak up slow from behind
an press the knife against there spine

swear and shout i'd get so mad
rob them blind for all they had

leave them there full of fear
down the street i'd dissapear

did this nightly for a while
theses drugs i took they turned me vile

i hated me i hated life
took a stand an turned the knife

to point it in my own direction
an stop these crimes an help protect them

so this last stage is where i stood
a knife so sharp it could cut wood

i pressed it hard against my wrist
one little slice would finish this

then all that greyness in my life
could drift away into the night

but something told me get a grip
i dropped the knife an had to sit

this type of life was killing me
i needed help to set me free


im on the street its dark outside
i see a bike parked up a drive

hood is on face covered up
i need to sneak an have a look

casing cracked this is a sinch
will only take 2 secs to pinch

cables yanked an clip the cord
must be quick to not get caught

steering lock what a joke
just pull it hard until its broke

snap....... this bike is free
now start it quick an of i flee

down the street an through the park
by crime is hidden by the dark

engine stalls bike is dead
its time to pinch another ped.


witnessed alot when i was younger
mainly because of dads criminal hunger

there are i few i can remember
specially one crime late november

year was about 95 a criminal family
with criminal lives

drawing close on christmas soon
no money spare to dec the room

christmas eve closing in
no money for pressies in the tin

somet drastic must be done
as you've guessed
its crime that won

the crime was big dad had to plan
told my uncle to bring a van

they sat around till it got late
then out they went no time to wait

later on i heard a bang
jumped out of bed
dowstairs i sprang

lounge was stacked with loads of stuff
all from argos all for us

mountain bikes and toys and games
jewlery, watches cars and trains

so much stuff and all for free
pressies for under the christmas tree

at the time it made me smile
a happy child for a while

but as ive grown i have learnt
you play with crime you will get burnt


when you was 11
what did you do
played with your friends
took trips to the zoo

when i was 11
guess what i did
broke in the army cadets
with some kid

crawled under the fence
an climbed on a bin
window ajared
thats the way we got in

once we were in
didnt know what to do
searching the lockers
for things that looked new

then to the main office
for a good look
medals an badges
an chocolates i took

found somet great
a replica gun
this cant be a crime
was way to much fun

we were havin a laugh
a play an a joke
heard sirens outside
then a shout from a bloke

he shouted along
the lines of get out
now we were scared
and flapping about

we both went outside
my friend scaled the fence
he ran through some bushes
he left me he went

the police got me out
in the car i was put
my mom she got called
she quickly turned up

the police made an error
didnt lock up the door
i jumped out the car
up the road i did sore

was back on my feet
was gonna run far
till my mom screamed at me
get back in the car

bournville police station
is where i was took
11 years old
and acting a crook

but lucky for me
i didnt get charged
let of with a warning
an later discharged

but it didnt make me big
and it didnt make me clever
a stupid crime in my life
thats with me forever


short glance
across the room
nothing more
way to soon

simple word
like hello
dont say to much
take it slow

set the mood
dont be to hasty
dont be to rude

invite to dinner
somewhere nice
remember manners
be polite

walk her home
hand in hand
one little kiss
but keep it bland

call her up
check shes fine
keep it clean
stay in line

meet tomorrow
hug her first
kiss her cheek
then observe

wait a moment
see it through
she feels the same
she will kiss you

kiss her back
hold her tight
invite her out
a meal tonight

if all goes well
she will accept
if all goes bad
she will reject


we all love our pets
an cherish there lives
till the day when they pass
an tears fill our eyes

we treat them like kids
an try keep them safe
we feed them an bathe them
do all that it takes

cause our pets are a blessing
sent from above
a part of our life
a friend who we love

an when the time comes
an heaven awaits
our pets will stand waiting
for us by the gates

watching an waiting
to join them once more
reunited in heaven
to love as before


a troubled child
a messed up youth
a bright young mind
put to no use

he knows hes clever
but acts a fool
to impress his friends
outside of school

all straight A's
are well insight
but preps his mind
to steel an fight

an then at home
sits and crys
behind the flesh
potential lyes

he knows the truth
but dares to care
thinks everyone
will judge an stare

so keeps it hidden
out of show
so his friends
will never know


a poor young girl
made to sin
abused an beaten
to bare her skin

this poor young girl
she has no hope
a tortured shell
for them to grope

that poor young girl
who cried at night
as she performed
for there delight

this poor young girl
cant take no more
cause everynight
shes called a whore

a poor young girl
who worked the streets
she killed herself
to get relief

that poor young girl
life ripped apart
abused an beaten
from the start


a few keys are pressed
a ping thats returned
status online
gather info an learn

commands that are sent
connection in view
vunrebility spotted
make use of that clue

connection established
data observed
the thrill of discovery
thats what i yearn

got what i need
retrace all my steps
clear any logs
or footprints ive left

laptop closed down
get myself to sleep
the life of a hacker
is never complete


a lonely man without a clue
locked away out of view

in a cell of padded walls
where he screams and shouts an balls

arms are strapped behind his back
cause of fear he may attack

going mad called insane
no idea of his pain

medication said to be
the key to his normallity

to fix him up an make him right
but this man he wants to fight

knows he should be out this place
mental illness not the case

wrongly sentenced for a crime
condemned insane to do his time

in a place of padded walls
a place where they ignore his calls

so the culprit can run free
coverup concealed cleverly


a menace to society
that's what they said
a menace to society
they wished i was dead
a menace to society
not fit to walk the streets
a menace to society
for stealing just to eat
a menace to society
not a hope in hell
a menace to society
belongs in a cell
a menace to society
that's all they saw
a menace to society
as they slammed the door
a menace to society
sitting on my own
a menace to society
crying all alone
a menace to society
for trying to survive
a menace to society
probation's been denied
a menace to society
a second chance please
a menace to society
till the day im freed.


a special couple man an wife
dedicated all there life
been together since there teens
love at first sight it was deemed
struggled many times in life
stuck together won the fights
made it into adulthood
proved them wrong showed they could
many years of life has past
still together aging fast
married now kids aswell
but the wife she falls unwell
husband holds her hand in bed
cause he meant the vows he said
by her side everynight
helping her for one last fight
cleans and feeds an keeps her warm
even though his heart is torn
his wife she passes in her sleep
in his arms a love so deep


he was the victim in his eyes
but in there eyes he did the crimes
convicted with an alliby
his alliby was called a lie
in the courtroom where he stood
guilty just because they could
no appeal straight to jail
his innocence will prevail
finally the months past by
new evidence they can supply
charges dropped the man set free
no remorse no appology.


2 days ago on G+ i was asked if i ever done poem requests, i have never been asked this before but said i would give it a go but couldnt promise how it would turn out, the lady then sent me a very heartwarming story of her life and how she has been abused by her husband for years and that it is still happening, i felt so bad knowing i could not help with the actual situation, she told me to publish it to all so i have wrote this for her from all the info i received, i just hope my poem can bring some courage an comfort and that she will make the right choices


a once true love
spawned into hate
a silent girl
with no escape

left to cry
behind closed doors
if asked why
she just ignores

deep inside
shes saying help
cause fear controls her
voice to shout

for her kids
she must be strong
even though
she knows its wrong

many nights
shes sits an waits
for his return
from drunken mates

all his anger
gets released
on this poor girl
who needs relief

for this man
she feels so strong
next time hes back
he wont do wrong

tells her that
hes made mistakes
an one more chance
is all it takes

to leave the drink
an love her more
an treat her like
he did before

she trys so hard
but she knows
this loving faze
will end in blows

and this poor girl
will take it all
abuse well hidden
beyond a wall

so for this girl
i need to pray
in hope that god
can guide her way

an keep her safe
within the wings
of the angels
that he brings

an let her lead
a pleasant life
one filled with love
an not with strife

Tuesday, 30 October 2012


11:03 i hear a scream
leap out of bed to a terrible scene
your body laying on the cold bathroom floor
eyes so still not breathing no more
you was only young only 34
you died so sudden no time for a cure
my heart left my chest
and entered my throat
anxiety set in i started to choke
i started to cry
i started to scream
i hear sirens there loud
helps at the scene
the door opens quick
medics rush up the stairs
they push me aside to give you some air
but nothing is working they look at a clock
11:08 moms heart had to stop
so these are the visions that haunt me at night
seeing your face so pale so white
seeing you lay there no motion no sound
a lifeless shell just there on the ground
but mom i miss you
i want to know
your there in my heart
wherever i go
but now im much better
a family i love
6 kids of my own
a wife i can hug
a beautiful house
a wonderful home
you'd be the proudest mom
that anyones known


got jesus on my left hand an mary on my right
my skin is full of ink
marking chapters in my life
got demons on my back an carp on my chest
an skulls down my arm an pacman on my neck
got gremlins on my side an mermaids down my leg
my skin can tell the storys of the life inwhich ive led
not all my ink is good some evolved from hate
a copper hanging by his neck my arm is where its placed
an tatoos from the skinhead life that i used to lead
most of these are covered now
my minds been cleansed an freed
but still i battle everyday with people judging me
not on how i act or how i talk
cause the ink is all they see
but if i had the choose to take the ink away
the answer would be no cause its made me who i am today


im sitting here i sit alone
on the wall on my phone
google plus is on the screen
nearby feed can be seen
look down the list to read the news
of petrol bombings and abuse
cause in this town that i call home
you never walk the streets alone
cause when its dark an when its late
these streets are filled with blood an hate
an people breaking into shops
an houses filled with ganja crops
an muggings for the sake of it
to brag to friends it makes me sick
so in this town that i call home
ill never walk the streets alone


in your sleep he sits an waits
waiting for your dream like state

eye lids twitch he knows the sign
he must attack and nows the time

in the shadows he will creep
waiting for the time to leap

an as he leaps he grips your chest
gripping hard you loose ur breath

you try to panic try to scream
your trapped inside a world between

reality an one of dreams
a horrid place with horrid scenes

of horrid ghouls and horrid ghosts
an demons squashing all ur hopes

you try to cry you try to shout
your only letting silence out

then in a flash a light comes on
an all the fear you had is gone

an all the tears you tried to cry
no longer there ur eyes are dry

an best of all ur thinking straight
that nightmares gone now your awake


in his prime he was the one
a hero who some looked upon
on the frontline he would wait
never knowing his own fate
fighting for our golden land
for the freedom we demand
risked his life day to day
not for money not for fame
but for the country that he knows
a place he loved a place called home
just for them to turn there backs
yet this old man fought of attacks
now hes living on the streets
no food to eat no where to sleep
sold his medals for a night
in a place with warmth an light
an everyday waits in a line
to cue for soup from someone kind
now this old man is dying slow
as the cold turns into snow
all alone no one to care
how is this condoned as fair


suicide i hear you say
what makes these kids die this way
surely life cant be that tough
surely bullys arent that rough
surely familys are always kind
surely they would show the signs
of abuse and of the hate
that makes them want to choose there fate
to take there life and leave this earth
it cant be true this things absurd

but we only see whats on the skin
the pain an sufferings deep within
of these kids these shattered souls
these tortured beings with no control
they have a voice but its not clear
they scream and shout but we dont hear
we pass it of just like the flu
there screaming help we have no clue

but we as parents have a choice
to listen hard for that hidden voice
and help our kids and keep them safe
from this world this vile place


with life comes death
with death comes pain
who is the one whos left to blame
the man upstairs the man below
the friends an family
weve come to know
the elements like rain an snow
we always shift the blame and so
our greif can finally make a show
and take us back to times we know
the happy times
the friendly faces
the towns the streets all memberable places
it helps us to indulge our mind an think of things we left behind
and finally we'll be inpiece
no blame to spare or grief to grieve
an eventually we will then say
forgiveness helped us find our way


im floating here a silent bubble
small an clear queit an suttle
a single bubble on its own
in the wilderness all alone
my shiny surface comes to rest
on miles of green an golden cress
an mountains made of wool an yarn
an lakes with waters clear an calm
a shiny bubble who understands
the beautys of these promise lands
but take for granted as we do
these beautys that are given you
that god creates and gave us free
yet we destroy them easily
and all ignore the pain we cause
to mother natures trees and floors
and yet we sit and smile all day
while gods creations fade away

Front cover for my first poetry book

this will hopefully be finished soon, got 14 poems done another 11 to go :)