True Skin

I walk the streets
head held high
my boots will gleme
at passers by
my jeans are pressed
and worn with pride
braces in view
with every stride
a polo shirt
all buttoned up
a crombie coat
to fill the look
a shaven head
im looking sharp
shame that people
judge at the start
a racist thug
or misguided youth
if only people
new the truth
of what a skinhead
truly means
instead they look
to movie scenes
and place us all
in the midst
of nazi flags
and racial digs
and propoganda
fueled by hate
and far right groups
with different traits
so spend some time
an read a book
before you decide
to give that look
and think of how
it feels to me
linked to others
immaturity
and when you've finally
found the truth
of real skins
you'll see the proof
that we dont live
for blood and hate
its ignorance
thats caused this debate

WE ALL HAVE IT

silence creates a field
closed in by thickened walls
no chance of climbing over
every try ending in falls
shut off inside a circle
hidden out of view
your inner voice will scream and shout
but there not hearing you
this walls been built to take the force
of there judgmental ways
to block them out and null the sound
by keeping me encaged
i feel a sudden erge to push
and break this wall to bits
and show them that im not afraid
of words or raging fists
this strength is now a part of me
that wall has hit the ground
never to be built again
for inner strength is what ive found

SADNESS

home is where i lay
my head my heart my hopes
in times where life was tough
misguided by toughened ropes
home is where i need to be
in times when i would cry
submerged in sheltered rooms
left to lead a lonely lie
i peer a sadened stare
at the heavens where she roams
im filled with grief and sorrow
in this place i feel alone
a certain set of rules
depict the way i live
a simple sign of madness
hoping she forgives
emotionally drained
inner memories ripped apart
that sound of death induced
in my brain and in my heart
every second of my day
the truth eats at my soul
will surface every now and then
as sadness takes its toll

DONT JUDGE A BOOK

DONT JUDGE A BOOK

i see you stare
as you cross the street
or grip your bag tight
and hurry your feet
i know exactly
whats on your mind
is he a criminal
best keep a look out behind
i wonder why
this judgement takes place
do i have mugger or thug
wrote on my face
or are you just staring
at my shaven head
or is it my tattoos
thats filling you with dred
why not take a moment
to ask me my name
instead of just thinking
i'll be inflicting you pain
i may look quite scary
but deep down inside
im as soft as a puppy
try my best to be kind
so no need judge
without knowing me first
how would you feel
cause it makes me feel hurt
so next time you see me
walking the street
dont be shy just say hello
you'll find im a pleasure to meet

www.crbpoetry.blogspot.com

TRUST IS FOR LIFE

ive soildered on through thick and thin
my life was once a mess
stupid things ive seen and done
just to try an impress
we only see the outer shell
the one that smiles and laughs
the inner side is hidden away
deep within the dark
ive dealt in drugs and drank alot
put myself on satans door
but not for love for so called friends
to accept me a little more
casued enough grief to make my mom
start turning in her grave
by mindless acts and ignornace
an how ive misbehaved
the games ive played the hurt ive caused
the missery ive bought to others
by hanging round with so called friends
my so called band of brothers
situations ive been apart
and looked the other way
i could of used my voice to help
but my friends i couldnt betray
but friends are not who you think they are
they can easily turn there backs
and leave you in a mental state
with laughter in there tracks
so have a friend or have a few
but careful where you tread
cause so called friends are hard to trust
even harder if your dead

IM SO SORRY

that winding road that takes me there
is always hard to find
even though i know this place
my knowledge of it is denied
i try so hard to take that trip
but my memories always cloudy
i could write it down or draw a sketch
but my pain would make me doubt me
this place has become a part of me
that tugs at my heart and soul
it trys to pull me in through love
but still i fight its hold
i need to release this hurt within
by following its lead
but everytime i try to visit
my hearts torn open to bleed
it makes me sad it makes me cry
it makes me feel im wrong
but even thinking of the journey
makes the pain more intense an strong
so im left to suffer this inner hurt
by not doing what is right
its not my moms or the cemeterys fault
its just this pains so hard to fight

ONE SPECIAL WORD

a special word
we all love to hate
some have good ones
some not so great
some up early
some out at night
some say they enjoy it
just to be polite
some are short
some are long
some require no preference
some you need to be strong
some leave you comfy
some leave you to struggle
some require paitence
some leave your brain in a muddle
but all these things
share one thing in common
that four letter word
that makes you feel rotton
so what is this thing
i speak so highly about
from the top of your lungs
let me hear you all shout
.......WORK

STOP AND START

stop and start stop and start
its getting on my nerves
this stressfull situatuion
that no one ever deserves
sitting at a stand still
going no where fast
yet on the other side
the lights are zooming past
tonnes and tonnes of steel
all sitting in a row
forwards back left and right
theres no where i can go
i wonder what is up ahead
thats causing all this fuss
i wish i never took the car
i should have caught the bus
40 minutes standing still
getting to work on time is slim
stop and start stop and start
what the heck is happening
ive finally moved enough
to see whats causing these effects
an accident up ahead
and loads of rubber necks
by rubber necks i mean
the ones that stop and stare
as they pass the scene
now im on the move again
no need for pro plus meds
cause all that chaos
was simply caused
by people turning heads
so keep these words in mind
when your passing by a scene
keep that rubber neck inline
cause starings just plain mean

THUNDER

she hears it once
and thats enough
that trembling sound
she hates so much
she rather be
indoors than out
to ease her mind
she potters about
then once again
a crackle an roar
sores through the house
yet she trys to ignore
she puts up a front
to show shes not scared
but behind all that courage
her minds not prepared
she sits and she waits
till it comes back again
with the curtains all drawn
closed of like a den
but then she hears birds
as they whistle and tweet
that thunder has gone
till the next time they meet

IM SORRY

you said you love her
she said you didnt
you said you want her
she denied that permission
you said you needed her
she told you to stop
you said you cared
she said you did not
you said you meant the vows
she said its lies
you said till death do us part
she had tears in her eyes
you said your sorry
she said its ok
you said forgive me
i messed up again
you reached out your arms
she leant on your chest
you cuddled her tight
she gripped on your vest
you looked in her eyes
she looked back in yours
you promised to love her
forever and more

BEDTIME TROUBLES

of to bed the land of sleep
nodding off with dancing sheep

to a place where i dream
a pleasant place a pleasant scene

in my bed so soft an warm
start my ritual with a yawn

ruffle pillows into shape
still i lie here wide awake

thinking how im all alone
your at work at not at home

by myself in this bed
wish that you was here instead

I MISS YOU

i remember what you'd wear
an how you backcombed your dark hair
an how you smiled all the time
an how you sang an read us rhymes
an how you taught us all to write
an how you told us be polite
an how you always called me bob
an taught me not to be a slob
an i remember how we'd play
an when you took us all away
an how you looked if you were sad
an how i sometimes made you mad
an i remember how you cried
an hugged me tight when my mom died
an i remember that sad day
when my grandad passed away

MY LIFES TIMELAPSE

by 15 i had seen
more than most
the average teen
stolen cars
carried knives
burglaries that ruined lives
had a gun held to my head
even saw my mother dead
weed an speed an other drugs
so much drink an people mugged
carried tools on street
so much anger not much sleep
till the day i met a girl
who saved me from
that dreadful world
took me home let me stay
made me who i am today
now were married settled down
gorgous kids that make me proud
i vow to keep them safe from harm
an let them lead a life thats calm

BRAIN WASHED

white an black, asian an chinese
the world is full of all these
but growing up was taught to hate
an only trust the white mans race
on the streets we would fight
anyone that was not white
now im older i can see
the lies that were infecting me
that distanced me from the truth
giving me these racial views
teaching me how to hate
but ignorance is out of date
so we must learn to get along
cause judging by our skin is wrong
cause we all drink and need to feed
an if you cut us we all bleed
so how we different from the rest
this racist world is such a mess

TO MY MOMMY

13 years of pain have passed,
Each memory stronger than the last,
The times i used to say goodnight,
You'd kiss my cheek left not right,
You'd come and tuck me into bed and say i love you as you kiss my head,
You'd help me up if i would fall and tell my gramps if i was bad at school,
And now your gone not here to hug or give me kisses full of love,
Or tuck me in when i goto bed and say i love you as you kiss my head,
But everyday i need to smile cause you was here for that little while,
And every moment we spent together will stay in heart and last forever,
An even though as i write,
My tears will run and my eyes clench tight,
I will always remember the times we shared,
I love you mom you were my friend xxx

HOW TIME CHANGES

Its night so i will watch and wait
11:15 her entrys late
I wonder why I wonder how
Surely she'd be back by now
I try to call but no-ones there
Im worried now im in despair
I cant imagine what could be
My minds a mess its stressing me
I try to calm and take a breathe
But breathing more is helping less
I feel the sweat beneath my shirt
Anxietys coming is she hurt
I hope an pray just for a call
Or hear her footsteps in the hall
Or hear her key turn in the lock
Or hear the softness of her knock
I look I wait I stand I sit
Its midnight soon
Isnt it
Now i realise what ive done
The clocks went back
Dont i feel dumb

ITS SO HARD

hit the road
home late from work
tired eyes try to observe

music loud
bass is deep
trying not to fall asleep

head keeps dipping
windows down
still 20 mile till i reach town

trying hard to concertrate
watch the road
an stay awake

an yet my brain keeps giving in
im trying hard
its tiring

now swaying left an swaying right
my brains asleep
my eyes clenched tight

suddenly i hit the rubble
im of the road
now im im trouble

i wake before i hit a fence
brake an swerve
no consequence

from that day on
i will reframe
from ever driving tired again

THERE FOR THE TAKING PART 4

from taking peds to bigger crimes
the ones that had me holding knives

these types of crimes i would commit
the drugs i took were fueling it

sneak up slow from behind
an press the knife against there spine

swear and shout i'd get so mad
rob them blind for all they had

leave them there full of fear
down the street i'd dissapear

did this nightly for a while
theses drugs i took they turned me vile

i hated me i hated life
took a stand an turned the knife

to point it in my own direction
an stop these crimes an help protect them

so this last stage is where i stood
a knife so sharp it could cut wood

i pressed it hard against my wrist
one little slice would finish this

then all that greyness in my life
could drift away into the night

but something told me get a grip
i dropped the knife an had to sit

this type of life was killing me
i needed help to set me free

THERE FOR THE TAKING PART 3

im on the street its dark outside
i see a bike parked up a drive

hood is on face covered up
i need to sneak an have a look

casing cracked this is a sinch
will only take 2 secs to pinch

cables yanked an clip the cord
must be quick to not get caught

steering lock what a joke
just pull it hard until its broke

snap....... this bike is free
now start it quick an of i flee

down the street an through the park
by crime is hidden by the dark

engine stalls bike is dead
its time to pinch another ped.

THERE FOR THE TAKING PART 2

witnessed alot when i was younger
mainly because of dads criminal hunger

there are i few i can remember
specially one crime late november

year was about 95 a criminal family
with criminal lives

drawing close on christmas soon
no money spare to dec the room

christmas eve closing in
no money for pressies in the tin

somet drastic must be done
as you've guessed
its crime that won

the crime was big dad had to plan
told my uncle to bring a van

they sat around till it got late
then out they went no time to wait

later on i heard a bang
jumped out of bed
dowstairs i sprang

lounge was stacked with loads of stuff
all from argos all for us

mountain bikes and toys and games
jewlery, watches cars and trains

so much stuff and all for free
pressies for under the christmas tree

at the time it made me smile
a happy child for a while

but as ive grown i have learnt
you play with crime you will get burnt